Don't get me wrong, this is a tough challenge, but I try to make every day the best that I can. I had a great day today. I went to work with the intention of working 4 hours. 7 hours later, I finally left and I felt great. I made the best of my time at work. I visited with some people, attended meetings, and discovered a problem that I am now addressing with my technology partners. It was a great day!
This past week, I was recuperating from chemo. Honestly, I think chemo is much better than I thought it was going to be. My assumption was that I would be sick at all times. I find that I'm sick for about 5 days and weak for a few more days beyond that time frame. I had visions of the movie "Dying Young" (yes, I know it is a chick flick). My experience has not been even close to the movie. Again, it is tough, but it is also manageable.
I think one of the reasons that I have done so well is because of the support that I have. Let me start with my MVP...Michelle. She is so amazing! She is so positive and knows when I'm struggling! Last week she could tell that the Prednisone was making me struggle, so she recommended that we go for a drive to get out of the house. It was the perfect recommendation and helped me perk up. My kids are also amazing. They make me smile and we laugh often. I don't know if it is a concious effort or not, but they can cheer me up very easily. I'm also so appreciative of our extended family. Our parents and siblings are so supportive. I talk to my Dad and/or Mom daily. My cancer buddies are very supportive too! Michelle's aunt just finished chemo, a good friend of ours is currently in remission, and my cousin Seth beat cancer 9 years ago (he has been a huge support in helping me navigate the cancer treatment waters).
The other reason I've done so well, and probably the most important, is because of all the prayers in my behalf. I would dare say that at least daily I have someone tell me that me and my family are in their prayers. Just knowing that is so humbling. All I can do right now is say "Thank you!".
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Chemo Week 1/2 way completed
Let me start out by saying, I finished my chemo treatment a few hours ago so I hope this post is clear. I tend to get "chemo-head", which makes it hard for me to concentrate.
I started the week by going to work. I met with our HR Manager, she is great and helped me out with some paperwork. I really appreciate the support that I've received from my company (from the President of the company down to our new hire classes). After that conversation, I spoke with my boss and told him that I'm ready to come back to work. He is much more comfortable now that I have a couple of treatments under my belt. So I went to work Monday thru Thursday. It was so great! I'm able to accomplish more at work and it affects my morale as well as the site's morale.
On Wednesday, I went in for labs. My blood counts are still "fantastic". I believe that is the word that my Oncologist used. I love having my PICC line. They plug into it and the blood starts to fill in the vials. No more poking with needles. Definitely worth the procedure to put in the PICC line.
On Thursday, I met with my Oncologist. It was my shortest visit since I started seeing her. She was so happy! Everything seems to be going better than planned. I asked her a few questions, the first was about my neuropathy. She was concerned that we are seeing this already and told me to keep an eye on it. I then asked about a scan in the middle of the treatments. She said that we are doing a scan after my next treatment. I think that will do a lot for my psyche as I will be able to see on screen that my tumor and lymph nodes are shrinking. I also asked about my hair as it seems to continue to grow. She said that I must have "hearty hair". It will most likely fall out as well but it was curious to me.
Today, Friday, I went in for my 3rd round of chemotherapy. We had to wait again to verify the anti-nausea meds. Once we got started, things moved much more quickly than the last time. Since I've had no reactions to Rituxan, my Doc allowed them to infuse it at a faster pace. It still took 3 hours and 15 minutes but that is much better than 4 or 4 1/2 hours. All in, I spent 6 hours at the hospital. We were able to get a semi private room with a window this time. I wanted the window because the weather was so great today. It was also nice because Michelle was able to use the recliner for the other patient as we didn't need to share today. I slept for about 2 hours and watched TV. It really is boring and so hard to focus on reading or doing anything else.
Tomorrow, I will go in for my Neulasta shot. This is a very painful shot that stimulates my bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It has some potential side effects but I have not suffered from any of them so far.
My parents came over tonight with a beautiful picture frame with the poem/story of "Footprints". I'm sure many of you are familiar with it but it is essentially about a person walking with the Savior and upon reflection he notices only one set of footprints during some of his hardest times. In the end he finds out that the Savior was carrying him during those times. I've always love this poem and it is more meaningful now than ever before.
Michelle has a migraine tonight. Not a fun thing to have when she is taking care of me. I'm so glad that we are so similar and stay positive for each other! I can't wait for the scan in 4 or 5 weeks to see how things are progressing inside.
Today is April Fool's day but everything you've read is true. Tomorrow is Nick's Birthday. We celebrated today since he has Drumline Competition tomorrow and will be gone for most of the day. It is also conference weekend. I usually have a hard time staying awake during conference but this will really be tough this time around as my anti-nausea meds make me sleepy. Having said that, I'm really looking forward to the messages that will be delivered. I just know that I will have a wonderful experience and that much of what will be said will be applicable to me in my current situation. I love all of you and appreciate the support that we receive. I'll never be able to repay all of the service, love and support that we have received...but I will try.
I started the week by going to work. I met with our HR Manager, she is great and helped me out with some paperwork. I really appreciate the support that I've received from my company (from the President of the company down to our new hire classes). After that conversation, I spoke with my boss and told him that I'm ready to come back to work. He is much more comfortable now that I have a couple of treatments under my belt. So I went to work Monday thru Thursday. It was so great! I'm able to accomplish more at work and it affects my morale as well as the site's morale.
On Wednesday, I went in for labs. My blood counts are still "fantastic". I believe that is the word that my Oncologist used. I love having my PICC line. They plug into it and the blood starts to fill in the vials. No more poking with needles. Definitely worth the procedure to put in the PICC line.
On Thursday, I met with my Oncologist. It was my shortest visit since I started seeing her. She was so happy! Everything seems to be going better than planned. I asked her a few questions, the first was about my neuropathy. She was concerned that we are seeing this already and told me to keep an eye on it. I then asked about a scan in the middle of the treatments. She said that we are doing a scan after my next treatment. I think that will do a lot for my psyche as I will be able to see on screen that my tumor and lymph nodes are shrinking. I also asked about my hair as it seems to continue to grow. She said that I must have "hearty hair". It will most likely fall out as well but it was curious to me.
Today, Friday, I went in for my 3rd round of chemotherapy. We had to wait again to verify the anti-nausea meds. Once we got started, things moved much more quickly than the last time. Since I've had no reactions to Rituxan, my Doc allowed them to infuse it at a faster pace. It still took 3 hours and 15 minutes but that is much better than 4 or 4 1/2 hours. All in, I spent 6 hours at the hospital. We were able to get a semi private room with a window this time. I wanted the window because the weather was so great today. It was also nice because Michelle was able to use the recliner for the other patient as we didn't need to share today. I slept for about 2 hours and watched TV. It really is boring and so hard to focus on reading or doing anything else.
Tomorrow, I will go in for my Neulasta shot. This is a very painful shot that stimulates my bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It has some potential side effects but I have not suffered from any of them so far.
My parents came over tonight with a beautiful picture frame with the poem/story of "Footprints". I'm sure many of you are familiar with it but it is essentially about a person walking with the Savior and upon reflection he notices only one set of footprints during some of his hardest times. In the end he finds out that the Savior was carrying him during those times. I've always love this poem and it is more meaningful now than ever before.
Michelle has a migraine tonight. Not a fun thing to have when she is taking care of me. I'm so glad that we are so similar and stay positive for each other! I can't wait for the scan in 4 or 5 weeks to see how things are progressing inside.
Today is April Fool's day but everything you've read is true. Tomorrow is Nick's Birthday. We celebrated today since he has Drumline Competition tomorrow and will be gone for most of the day. It is also conference weekend. I usually have a hard time staying awake during conference but this will really be tough this time around as my anti-nausea meds make me sleepy. Having said that, I'm really looking forward to the messages that will be delivered. I just know that I will have a wonderful experience and that much of what will be said will be applicable to me in my current situation. I love all of you and appreciate the support that we receive. I'll never be able to repay all of the service, love and support that we have received...but I will try.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The Change
I'm sure most of you are thinking of the physical changes that have occurred to me since I've undergone chemotherapy. The change that I'm speaking about today is the spiritual and mental changes that have occurred and are still occurring. I think most cancer patients have 3 lives...their life pre-cancer, their life during treatment, and their life post-cancer.
People often ask me how I'm doing and how my family is doing. I think for the most part, we are used to the idea that this is our life right now...and we make the best of it. We have fun, we laugh, we try to live our life as normally as possible. I love life. I recognize now, more than ever before, that I am very lucky (or blessed). I have an amazing family that loves me for who I am. They accept my shortcomings and make me want to be better.
I appreciate my health more now. I was healthy last year and didn't appreciate it. My good days now are so special to me. I look forward to the days that I feel good and those days aren't as good as before I got sick. I'm looking forward to the summer. I will have completed my chemotherapy on June 3rd and I can't wait for the colors and warm weather. I've always loved summer but this year will be even more special.
My faith has increased. Not only my faith that I am going to beat this challenge, but my faith in God. I've mentioned it so many times, and I will continue to say it, we have felt the prayers of so many of you. My prayers are more meaningful. You would probably think that my prayers center on being cured, while I do mention that in most of my prayers, I tend to pray for my family and friends and others that are going through hard times. I am blessed!
When I'm through with my treatments, I want to be a force for good. I have a great opportunity every year, through my employer, to oversee a fairly sizeable charitable giving budget. We have always done a pretty good job dispersing those funds each year, but I'm sure my thought process going forward will be different. I also want to do more!!! I've served on the board of directors for a local charity. It was a wonderful opportunity, but I can do more. I can make a difference.
I feel like I'm rambling now, but I want everyone that reads this blog to see things differently. Cherish what you have, enjoy your families, LOVE LIFE! It is so easy to look at the negative things in your life, but I hope more of us will focus on the positive. Thank you again for all of your support. We couldn't do this without you!
People often ask me how I'm doing and how my family is doing. I think for the most part, we are used to the idea that this is our life right now...and we make the best of it. We have fun, we laugh, we try to live our life as normally as possible. I love life. I recognize now, more than ever before, that I am very lucky (or blessed). I have an amazing family that loves me for who I am. They accept my shortcomings and make me want to be better.
I appreciate my health more now. I was healthy last year and didn't appreciate it. My good days now are so special to me. I look forward to the days that I feel good and those days aren't as good as before I got sick. I'm looking forward to the summer. I will have completed my chemotherapy on June 3rd and I can't wait for the colors and warm weather. I've always loved summer but this year will be even more special.
My faith has increased. Not only my faith that I am going to beat this challenge, but my faith in God. I've mentioned it so many times, and I will continue to say it, we have felt the prayers of so many of you. My prayers are more meaningful. You would probably think that my prayers center on being cured, while I do mention that in most of my prayers, I tend to pray for my family and friends and others that are going through hard times. I am blessed!
When I'm through with my treatments, I want to be a force for good. I have a great opportunity every year, through my employer, to oversee a fairly sizeable charitable giving budget. We have always done a pretty good job dispersing those funds each year, but I'm sure my thought process going forward will be different. I also want to do more!!! I've served on the board of directors for a local charity. It was a wonderful opportunity, but I can do more. I can make a difference.
I feel like I'm rambling now, but I want everyone that reads this blog to see things differently. Cherish what you have, enjoy your families, LOVE LIFE! It is so easy to look at the negative things in your life, but I hope more of us will focus on the positive. Thank you again for all of your support. We couldn't do this without you!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
RCHOP
RCHOP???? I thought I would take a few minutes today to talk about the chemotherapy regimen that I go through. RCHOP is an acronym for the chemicals that are infused into my body every 3 weeks. They are as follows:
R = Rituximab (Rituxan)
C = Cyclosphoasphamide
H = Hydoxydaunorubicin (doxorubicin)
O = Oncovin (vincristine)
P = Prednisone
You've probably already read about Rituxan. It is a new type of drug that my Oncologist calls the "Smart Bomb". It attacks the cancer cells. This particular drug has many side effects including death for 4 out of 1,000 patients. It is infused at a very slow rate to ensure that there are no reactions. It typically takes 4 1/2 hours to infuse 1 bag of this drug into my body. I am grateful for this drug as it alone has improved survival rates by a large percentage.
Cyclosphosphamide is an alkylating anti-neoplastic agent. This drug adds chemicals known as an alykyl group to the cell, inhibiting its ability to divide.
Hydoxydaunaorubicin (doxorubicin) prevents cancerous DNA and RNA from replicating. This is the scariest chemical for me. It looks like red jello and is given to me through 2 large syringes.
Vincristine (formerly known as Oncovin) is similar to Cyclosphosphamide in that it inhibits cell division. This drug while good is causing me problems. It causes tingling in my fingertips and feet (peripheral neuropathy). I don't know if this is a permanent side effect but as I've told several people, I would rather have neuropathy than die from cancer.
Prednisone is a steroid that helps with anti-inflammation. That is not the reason for the use in RCHOP though. For some reason, high doses seem to take action on cancerous white blood cells. I take this drug orally for 5 days. I take 100mg (5 pills) every day for the first 5 days after chemo. The biggest thing I notice is that I am not myself while taking Prednisone. I don't get angry but I'm not my usual positive self.
There are many side effects from this chemo regimen but they are mostly the ones that you think about when you hear the word chemo. I get a lot of anti-nausea medicines and the second round went much better. Primarily I have chronic fatigue, I feel sick (similar to a really bad stomach flu), and of course...I lost my hair.
This is probably more than any of you wanted to know but I thought I would share. Thank you for the continued support and prayers. We feel the prayers. One quick story...a family that I home teach recently went to Israel. While they were there, they put my name in the western wall (wailing wall). They also prayed for me while they were in the Garden of Gethsemane. I was so humbled that they would think to do this for me and my family. I know many of you put our names on the prayer rolls in the temple and a good friend of mine in Georgia puts my name on the prayer roll for his church. I'm so blessed to have such great friends and family. Thank you for all that you do!
R = Rituximab (Rituxan)
C = Cyclosphoasphamide
H = Hydoxydaunorubicin (doxorubicin)
O = Oncovin (vincristine)
P = Prednisone
You've probably already read about Rituxan. It is a new type of drug that my Oncologist calls the "Smart Bomb". It attacks the cancer cells. This particular drug has many side effects including death for 4 out of 1,000 patients. It is infused at a very slow rate to ensure that there are no reactions. It typically takes 4 1/2 hours to infuse 1 bag of this drug into my body. I am grateful for this drug as it alone has improved survival rates by a large percentage.
Cyclosphosphamide is an alkylating anti-neoplastic agent. This drug adds chemicals known as an alykyl group to the cell, inhibiting its ability to divide.
Hydoxydaunaorubicin (doxorubicin) prevents cancerous DNA and RNA from replicating. This is the scariest chemical for me. It looks like red jello and is given to me through 2 large syringes.
Vincristine (formerly known as Oncovin) is similar to Cyclosphosphamide in that it inhibits cell division. This drug while good is causing me problems. It causes tingling in my fingertips and feet (peripheral neuropathy). I don't know if this is a permanent side effect but as I've told several people, I would rather have neuropathy than die from cancer.
Prednisone is a steroid that helps with anti-inflammation. That is not the reason for the use in RCHOP though. For some reason, high doses seem to take action on cancerous white blood cells. I take this drug orally for 5 days. I take 100mg (5 pills) every day for the first 5 days after chemo. The biggest thing I notice is that I am not myself while taking Prednisone. I don't get angry but I'm not my usual positive self.
There are many side effects from this chemo regimen but they are mostly the ones that you think about when you hear the word chemo. I get a lot of anti-nausea medicines and the second round went much better. Primarily I have chronic fatigue, I feel sick (similar to a really bad stomach flu), and of course...I lost my hair.
This is probably more than any of you wanted to know but I thought I would share. Thank you for the continued support and prayers. We feel the prayers. One quick story...a family that I home teach recently went to Israel. While they were there, they put my name in the western wall (wailing wall). They also prayed for me while they were in the Garden of Gethsemane. I was so humbled that they would think to do this for me and my family. I know many of you put our names on the prayer rolls in the temple and a good friend of mine in Georgia puts my name on the prayer roll for his church. I'm so blessed to have such great friends and family. Thank you for all that you do!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Friday
I have always loved Fridays (who doesn't...right?). Fridays now mean something more. Every Friday, I am one week closer to my final treatment. Don't get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go before I'm done with this trial but this past week went by very quickly. Every Friday, in between treatments, I have to get my PICC line flushed and have the dressing changed. If I am feeling well enough, Michelle and I try to go to dinner.
I felt pretty good tonight. I wasn't really feeling sick but I'm very lethargic. As my daughter, Sydney, would say..."I feel heavy". We decided to visit my Mom for a few minutes as she had surgery yesterday. She is doing great and looked a lot better than I expected. I am really happy that she is doing so well. I worry about her but she is a trooper.
After visiting for a while, Michelle and I went to dinner. It is Michelle's birthday on Monday, so I let her pick the restaurant. She wanted to go to The Old Spaghetti Factory (one of her top five favorites). We sat in the top section of the restaurant and basically had the section to ourselves. We had a great meal with great conversation. It was a great date!
I came home to several phone calls, including calls from two of my brothers, my cousin Seth and my former Bishop (thanks Bishop Coats). I appreciate the phone calls so much! They really lift my spirits. I am so grateful for friends and family! This challenge would be so much different without the support of all of you!
I felt pretty good tonight. I wasn't really feeling sick but I'm very lethargic. As my daughter, Sydney, would say..."I feel heavy". We decided to visit my Mom for a few minutes as she had surgery yesterday. She is doing great and looked a lot better than I expected. I am really happy that she is doing so well. I worry about her but she is a trooper.
After visiting for a while, Michelle and I went to dinner. It is Michelle's birthday on Monday, so I let her pick the restaurant. She wanted to go to The Old Spaghetti Factory (one of her top five favorites). We sat in the top section of the restaurant and basically had the section to ourselves. We had a great meal with great conversation. It was a great date!
I came home to several phone calls, including calls from two of my brothers, my cousin Seth and my former Bishop (thanks Bishop Coats). I appreciate the phone calls so much! They really lift my spirits. I am so grateful for friends and family! This challenge would be so much different without the support of all of you!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Chemo #2 (1/3 of the way)
Michelle and I went in at 8:30 am to the IMC Huntsman Cancer Center. We were able to get our same private room that we had last time. It took a while to get started as they were trying to figure out my anti-nausea medicines. They finally reached Dr. Lagant and she gave them the go ahead for another med. We started with the Rituxan again as it takes 4 1/2 hours to run that one. I can't remember the other drugs but there are a total of 5.
The day before chemo, we met with my oncologist, we received very good news. Anectdotally, the night sweats are gone, the cough is gone and the fatigue is getting better. From the blood count perspective, she was very pleased. She said my red blood counts were very good. The white blood counts were 6100 which is well above the danger zone (she usually doesn't get worried unless they are in the 2700 -3000 range. She also gave me new survivor rates for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Large B Cell). For someone my age in Stage 2, I have a 81% chance of being cancer free in the next 5 years. If she counts my spleen like a lymph node, that rate goes up to 91%. The good news is that this study includes everyone from 40 - 60 years old and since I'm on the young end of that spectrum, my outlook is even better. I've known that we were going to beat this from day one but it is nice to hear such good news.
These past few week have given me hope that it isn't going to be as hard as I thought! I'm sure that a lot of that comes from the prayers and blessings that we have received. I've definitely felt the Lord's hand in this trial. We are so blessed!
The day before chemo, we met with my oncologist, we received very good news. Anectdotally, the night sweats are gone, the cough is gone and the fatigue is getting better. From the blood count perspective, she was very pleased. She said my red blood counts were very good. The white blood counts were 6100 which is well above the danger zone (she usually doesn't get worried unless they are in the 2700 -3000 range. She also gave me new survivor rates for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Large B Cell). For someone my age in Stage 2, I have a 81% chance of being cancer free in the next 5 years. If she counts my spleen like a lymph node, that rate goes up to 91%. The good news is that this study includes everyone from 40 - 60 years old and since I'm on the young end of that spectrum, my outlook is even better. I've known that we were going to beat this from day one but it is nice to hear such good news.
These past few week have given me hope that it isn't going to be as hard as I thought! I'm sure that a lot of that comes from the prayers and blessings that we have received. I've definitely felt the Lord's hand in this trial. We are so blessed!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
My Sanity
I just want everyone to know that a big part of my sanity is the phone calls and visits from friends and family. I just had a great visit from a very good friend from work (thanks Theron). I look forward to my daily call with my Dad. My brothers call me every couple of days. I love to see my sisters when I have the chance. My inlaws are bringing us dinner tomorrow and I'm so excited to see them and appreciate all that they have done for us.
I've always maintained that when the chips are down, surround yourself with those that you love. So many friends have stopped by and lifted my spirits. All I can say is thank you. Please know that you are welcome to drop by or call anytime! It helps me maintain my sanity!
I've always maintained that when the chips are down, surround yourself with those that you love. So many friends have stopped by and lifted my spirits. All I can say is thank you. Please know that you are welcome to drop by or call anytime! It helps me maintain my sanity!
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