I'm five months out from my last chemo treatment. There is a strong chance that I will eventually have to do something more, but until that time, I feel great! Since my return to work, in June, I haven't missed a single day due to health reasons. I had a minor scare last week but I'm feeling really healthy. I know, I know, I shouldn't jinx myself. I'm just trying to point out that I've been very fortunate.
One thing that I have realized from reading all of these blogs is that there is always something worse that I could be dealing with right now. I read heartbreaking stories of families who lost a pregnancy due to treatments, others who have battled with several different types of cancer and finally some that finally succumbed to the disease. It truly breaks my heart!
I'm sorry to all of you that were scared by my illness. Especially my family. I will never forget sitting down with my kids and telling them about my diagnosis. I tried to be calm and assure them that everything would be alright. I truly felt peace at diagnosis, but I hope I didn't minimize the seriousness of cancer for them. I'm sorry to Michelle. I told her over the phone...looking back, that was terrible but I knew she was so anxious about what was going on. We've shared a few tears but more than anything...we have become so close!
In this month of gratitude, I'm grateful for all of the men and women that preceded me in this cancer experience and have shared their experiences. It is so helpful to know that others have gone through very similar experiences and I'm able to learn from those shared experiences. It really does help me and I'm sure it has helped many others as well.
Here are a few other things I'm thankful for:
- Michelle - I've said it so many times, she is my rock!
- My kids - you make the fight easy
- My parents and Michelle's parents -you've done so much for us
- My siblings - you make me smile
- Extended Family - I realize how important all of you are to me
- Friends - I was looking at all of the cards that we received from our friends. There were so many, now multiply that by 1,000 and we might be able to capture all of the phone calls, emails, visits, etc...
- Dr. Legant - I made a recommendation for her on Facebook the other day and I stand by it. She is a great Oncologist.
- Chemotherapy - Did I just say that? Despite the side effects, I'm grateful that it knocked the tumor down to nothing.
- Time - Even though I know that I will most likely have to face additional treatment, I'm really grateful for this time of feeling good.
- Health - A high school friend whose family has fought with cancer has a joke. They like to say "At least you have your health." I like it and I think about it often. It is a joke but I am pretty lucky. I'm glad I've always had a pretty good immune system to keep me healthy.
Finally, I'm making some changes in my life to hopefully help me. I'm eating mostly vegetarian. During the week, I am a vegetarian. On the weekends I will relax a little bit. I've read of so many health benefits from being a vegetarian. I realize that you can be a vegetarian and still be unhealthy. I'm not making too drastic of a change for now but the goal is to give my body the best opportunity to fight this nasty disease and hopefully keep it from spreading. I guess I'm struggling a bit with faith right now. Not so much faith in God but rather faith in the healing process. I want to sign up for a race but I'm so scared that I won't be able to do it because of my health. If I really had faith, I would jump in and not be concerned about the future.
I have a PET Scan on 11/28/2011. We will see what that brings. I realize that I'm basically asking for a sign before I exercise my faith. I typically don't need that but in this case, it would sure help.
Check out the other blogs that I mentioned. Especially if you, someone you love, or even an acquaintance is battling cancer. There are a lot of people that are much smarter and definitely more eloquent than me that can provide real help.
2 comments:
I am impressed with your courage and continuing optimism. I am also impressed with your family and their resilience! Your children have had a positive impact on me as their teacher at Sunset Ridge Middle School. I, too, had a bout with brain cancer and chemotherapy in 1996. I am also grateful for good health as I have been now 15 years since the first diagnosis. It is a good feeling to realize that I have had no further problems since the brain surgery and chemo of the summer of 1996. I do have some side-effects that I deal with daily but my health, in general, is quite good.
Thank you dfpiano, and thank you for the card! It meant a lot to me. I know Makenzie and Nick appreciated you as their teacher. Nick is a music lover and I think that is in large part thanks to you! Glad you are doing so well after treatments!
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