Quick Update

I actually visited Doctor Legant about a week ago. This was an appointment scheduled between my scans. She had me do my blood work a couple of days before the appointment. So, on Monday the 16th, I went to IMC and had the vampires suck some blood from me. :)

I came home and within minutes they posted the results. These will probably not make a lot of sense for most readers but you can see that they are within normal range

Name	Normal Range	01/16 2012	11/28 2011	09/26 2011	07/26 2011
WBC	3.6-10.6	4.8	3.6	4.6	4.0
RBC	4.50-5.90	5.12	5.28	4.92	4.69
HGB	13.5-17.5	15.2	15.6	14.6	14.3
Hct	41.0-53.0	44.7	45.3	42.6	42.0
MCV	80.0-100.0	87.3	85.8	86.8	89.6
MCH	26.0-34.0	29.7	29.5	29.8	30.5
MCHC	32.0-36.0	34.0	34.4	34.3	34.1
RDW	11.3-15.6	14.6	15.1	13.7	14.1
PLTS	150-400	253	240	255	235
MPV	6.6-10.1	7.4	7.8	7.5	7.6

I knew that the numbers looked great but I couldn't wait to speak with Dr. Legant. I saw her last Wednesday. We spoke for a minute about my blood pressure, yes it is high. I told her that I have WCS..."White Coat Syndrome".

We then turned the conversation to the blood work. She was very happy with the numbers. I think her exact words were: "Your blood labs are perfect, you look great, how do you feel?" To which I answered that I feel great and she liked that answer. She then apologized to me that we are going to need to continue doing PET Scans until the lymph nodes go cold. This peaked my interest. I've been under the impression that I will eventually need to have additional treatment someday so I asked her about it. I also asked her about the fact that 3 lymph nodes shrunk last time. She said that she is thinking they will shrink and become cold and hopes that we won't need to do any additional treatments. That made my day! I've been doing really great ever since. Michelle was happy to hear that as well. Maybe this new found "partial vegetarianism" is paying off? Whatever the reason, I'm ecstatic!

I guess this wasn't really a quick update but it was a good one!

Elder Prawit's Favorite Food

When I first arrived in Thailand on my mission, I was extremely homesick. I was the only missionary in my group that was assigned to a native Thai speaker. I was in a part of Bangkok on the west side of Chao Praya river called Thonburi. I was overwhelmed and afraid of this large city, I'd never seen anything like it before. My parents knew that I was struggling and I had also been sick. One day, I was making a tape for my parents and I asked my companion, Elder Prawit, to tell about his favorite food. It is an old military favorite. After hearing this tape, my parents quit worrying about me. (Warning...it has some language, but it is hilarious)

I was only a month in country, so my Thai was really bad. I was very grateful for Elder Prawit, my Trainer. He was a great missionary and a very good example to me. I hope you enjoy it like I did.

不思議 Fushigi

I've been bad at posting lately...I thought I would share my story of fushigi. When I was a little boy, my Dad was in the military and we lived in Japan. I never learned how to speak Japanese but my Dad served a two and a half year mission in Japan and then we spent 3 years there as a family. So needless to say, my Dad speaks Japanese. Our story of Japan is a cool story but it is a story for another day. This story is about our trip to Las Vegas.

My nephew Dallin was baptized this past weekend. Several of us decided to drive down and see them. My Dad wasn't sure if he could get out of work early but ended up getting off before the rest of us. We spoke on the phone and he was getting ready to leave. I decided that I would get my family on the road so we wouldn't be too far behind him. We got on I-15 and discovered that we were just a short distance behind him and my Mom. We stopped at different places but still managed to follow each other for most of the way.

We had a very good weekend in Las Vegas. We took the kids to the M&M factory and spent some good time with the family. On Sunday, we all went our own way. As it turned out, Michelle and I were the first to head for home. We drove from Las Vegas to St. George and stopped for gas and treats. While we were stopped, I called my Dad to see where they were. He said that they had just entered St. George. We joked that maybe we would see each other. After we got settled, we entered on the freeway and guess who was there...of course it was my Mom and Dad.

My Dad called and said that it was "fushigi". I don't think there is a direct translation but it is like a very rare coincidence or wonder. I didn't hear my Dad very well and thought he said "jushigi". He corrected me and said "fushigi" to which I heard "kushigi". He then said "Fuuuuushigi", to which I responded "Oh... F-U". Everyone in my car started laughing and I realized what I said. My Dad then said, "That is some way to speak to your Dad!"

So that is my story of Fushigi. I have my next appointment with Dr. Legant next week. I hope the blood work looks great! I'll try to stay on top of the blog a little better going forward.

As a side note, I attended a viewing for my Great Uncle Dick Smuin today. He was a great man and I'm so happy he is with my Aunt Larue. During the last few days of his life, he was saying "Shut up Marge". Marge is my Grandma Carbine that passed away a year and a half ago. He then told Ashley, his Granddaughter that was taking care of him, "Marge won't shut the he** up".

My Dad was telling me this story just after we found out about Uncle Dick and we were chuckling about it. Michelle asked what we were laughing about and Dad said, "Oh Uncle Dick died." He then had to correct himself and explain why we were laughing. I can picture my Grandma trying to coax Uncle Dick to come up with her and Larue. What a great generation. Uncle Dick fought in WWII and drove a tank. He was on the cover of Newsweek many years ago. I'm so grateful to know him, my Grandpa, Aunt Larue, and my Grandmas. So weird to think that the last of that generation has passed on.

Jimmy's Christmas Rock

Okay...this might be a bit self indulgent. I don't really have an update on the cancer front but I thought I would share this story that my Dad wrote 32 years ago. It is a true story and I believe the rights to the story are owned by a newspaper but it is a story about me and I don't make any money from this blog so I figure it is fair game.

Jimmy's Christmas Rock
By James W. Carbine

Young Jimmy often visited Grandma, but this particular night was to be the beginning of an unusual event.

It was rather chilly, and a friendly, coal-fed fire crackled in the fireplace. Several large pieces of shining, ebony coal lay on the hearth. The youngster's first encounter with coal soon produced the inevitable question, "What's that?" His father, glancing up from the adult conversation, trying to add a little humor, said, "That's a Christmas rock, and if you're good, you'll get it for Christmas."

The rest of the evening was spent without much thought given to Dad's so-called joke or its absence of laughter.

As the November night grew colder and the fire dimmer, the remaining pieces of coal were added to the fire. Then it happened. Everyone realized Dad's humor had been taken very seriously by at least one person. Dad glanced down to see who was tugging on his sleeve and was met by a heartboken look of a 3-year old. Jimmy, fighting back the tears, said, "Grandpa burned away my Christmas rock."

Grandma soon pacified Jimmy by telling him she would make sure he got another rock for Christmas. She did, however, include one more condition. Jimmy had to kiss her at every meeting in return for the gift. So the evening concluded with everyone happy, with maybe the exception of our would be comic, Dad.

In the week that followed there was the usual excitement for Christmas shared by everyone. But for Jimmy there was a special excitement, as he waited to become the owner of his Christmas rock. Whenever asked the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" the first and often only answer was, "A Christmas rock."

His enthusiasm spread and soon his younger sisgter, Charlene, had made the same arrangement with Grandma, and she too was anxiously awaiting the blessed day.

In a time of electronic gadgetry, talking tooth brushes and all sorts of glittering toys on the market, it amazed people that a youngster could be so fascinated by a black ugly, piece of coal. The same coal used in Christmases past to punish children was now a reward for being good.

Soon the festive holiday arrived, and as promised, there under the Christmas tree lay two beautiful Christmas rocks, strangely resembling two ugly hunks of coal. The tricycles, electric trains, and dolls created almost as much excitement and joy; but when asked which present would be taken as the family visited friends and relatives, there was never really any doubt as to what Jimmy and Charlene would take.

In their travels that day, they beamed with joy when asked what they got. They quickly showed their pride and joy--their rocks.

One cousin, about the same age as Jimmy, felt quite bad that he didn't have a Christmas rock. Grandma again came to the rescue promising yet another piece of coal (however, after dropping his Christmas rock on his bare foot, the cousin lost most of his admiration for it).

Though the newness soon wore off, the pride in ownership remained. Today seven years later, the rock remains proudly perched on a shelf like a trophy. Grandma still collects her kisses, and anyone entering Jimmy's room is immediately shown the rock.

Several months later as Grandma's birthday approached and a present was being discussed, young Jimmy suggested, "Let's get her a Birthday rock!"

Don't Waste Your...

You fill in the blank here. I was looking at the list of blogs that I mentioned on my last post and I saw a picture of a Mom and her baby and on the window was written, "Don't waste your cancer". Unfortunately, I don't know who to credit for the thought but it was eye opening for me. I then thought about all of the adversity that my family and I have faced over the years. I think in every one of those situations, we learned something. Perhaps the lesson is as simple as the realization of how strong we have become or that we are so blessed to come out of that "challenge" with very few scars.

It has been a rough week and a half. My Dad went into the hospital on Monday, November 14th. He has Pancreatitis. He has been in so much pain. It is hard to watch someone that you love suffer so much. It has been tough on my Mom as well. She is so tired. Unfortunately, we had to have Thanksgiving without him today. I can't wait for him to be back to his old self. This experience has really made me appreciate how Michelle and my family must have felt while I was going through treatment.

We have a PET Scan on Monday. Is it possible to be excited and scared at the same time? I want to know how the cancer is progressing but I'm also scared of what we will find. I'm very hopeful that we will see very little progression at all. I still owe Michelle a 20 year anniversary trip next spring and I'd like to feel good when we go. Michelle is a trooper. We don't have drama in our lives. I couldn't have picked a better mate.

I expressed gratitude in my last post but once again, I'm thankful for all of you. Thank you for your prayers, we continue to need them and we know that we are much stronger because of them.

Don't waste your challenges. Embrace them, learn from them, and realize how blessed you are because of them.

Cancer Blogs

I've recently found a wonderful place on the web that indexes various blogs regarding cancer. It is http://beingcancer.net/. They recently added my Blog to their growing list. I stumbled upon it by chance and I hate to admit it but I have found myself spending several hours reading other cancer survivors' blogs. It has been real eye opening for me. Despite how I feel about cancer and my own experiences, I'm finding that there are so many people that deal with this "stuff" every day. I'm also learning that people deal with it in very different ways. I see a lot of people that face it head on with a positive attitude and others that are just so upset and mad. I can't say which way is better as I think it depends on the person.

I'm five months out from my last chemo treatment. There is a strong chance that I will eventually have to do something more, but until that time, I feel great! Since my return to work, in June, I haven't missed a single day due to health reasons. I had a minor scare last week but I'm feeling really healthy. I know, I know, I shouldn't jinx myself. I'm just trying to point out that I've been very fortunate.

One thing that I have realized from reading all of these blogs is that there is always something worse that I could be dealing with right now. I read heartbreaking stories of families who lost a pregnancy due to treatments, others who have battled with several different types of cancer and finally some that finally succumbed to the disease. It truly breaks my heart!

I'm sorry to all of you that were scared by my illness. Especially my family. I will never forget sitting down with my kids and telling them about my diagnosis. I tried to be calm and assure them that everything would be alright. I truly felt peace at diagnosis, but I hope I didn't minimize the seriousness of cancer for them. I'm sorry to Michelle. I told her over the phone...looking back, that was terrible but I knew she was so anxious about what was going on. We've shared a few tears but more than anything...we have become so close!

In this month of gratitude, I'm grateful for all of the men and women that preceded me in this cancer experience and have shared their experiences. It is so helpful to know that others have gone through very similar experiences and I'm able to learn from those shared experiences. It really does help me and I'm sure it has helped many others as well.

Here are a few other things I'm thankful for:

• Michelle - I've said it so many times, she is my rock!



• My kids - you make the fight easy



• My parents and Michelle's parents -you've done so much for us



• My siblings - you make me smile



• Extended Family - I realize how important all of you are to me



• Friends - I was looking at all of the cards that we received from our friends. There were so many, now multiply that by 1,000 and we might be able to capture all of the phone calls, emails, visits, etc...



• Dr. Legant - I made a recommendation for her on Facebook the other day and I stand by it. She is a great Oncologist.



• Chemotherapy - Did I just say that? Despite the side effects, I'm grateful that it knocked the tumor down to nothing.



• Time - Even though I know that I will most likely have to face additional treatment, I'm really grateful for this time of feeling good.



• Health - A high school friend whose family has fought with cancer has a joke. They like to say "At least you have your health." I like it and I think about it often. It is a joke but I am pretty lucky. I'm glad I've always had a pretty good immune system to keep me healthy.

Finally, I'm making some changes in my life to hopefully help me. I'm eating mostly vegetarian. During the week, I am a vegetarian. On the weekends I will relax a little bit. I've read of so many health benefits from being a vegetarian. I realize that you can be a vegetarian and still be unhealthy. I'm not making too drastic of a change for now but the goal is to give my body the best opportunity to fight this nasty disease and hopefully keep it from spreading. I guess I'm struggling a bit with faith right now. Not so much faith in God but rather faith in the healing process. I want to sign up for a race but I'm so scared that I won't be able to do it because of my health. If I really had faith, I would jump in and not be concerned about the future.

I have a PET Scan on 11/28/2011. We will see what that brings. I realize that I'm basically asking for a sign before I exercise my faith. I typically don't need that but in this case, it would sure help.

Check out the other blogs that I mentioned. Especially if you, someone you love, or even an acquaintance is battling cancer. There are a lot of people that are much smarter and definitely more eloquent than me that can provide real help.

Feeling Sick

I woke up today with chills. It snowed last night so I thought maybe that was it but I later realized that I had a slight fever. I then got on a coughing fit. It was a deep cough in my chest. I'm really trying to stay calm but it brought back all of the memories from when I was diagnosed. I don't share this to complain...I just wanted to share the feelings that I was having today.

I came across the following quote later today and it was perfect for me:

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."

-Mary Ann Radmacher

I don't know Ms. Radmacher but I'm grateful for this wonderful quote. I'll be courageous tomorrow (or at least I will try).

Michelle wants me to call Dr. Legant on Monday morning. I told her it depends on how I feel. I'm just really grateful that we didn't have anything to do today. We did have a dinner set up with some very good friends but I called and mentioned that we would need to take a rain check.

Here's to a better day tomorrow...Oh and we get to set the clocks back one hour. I love it!