Quick Post

This will be very short post but I wanted to share a couple of pictures with you. The first one was taken many years ago when my cousin Seth was battling Hodgkins Lymphoma (Hodgkins Disease). The picture is of my cousin Seth, his daughter Laura, his son Ben, my son Nick, and me. The second picture is with the same people and also includes 3 new additions, Seth's son Matt, his daughter Abby, and my daughter Sydney. When I got sick and found out that I had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Seth brought a copy of the original picture to me and we decided that we should take another one. I'll write more later...final chemo in 6 days. Can't wait!!!!

The Final Countdown

I wasn't really a big fan of the band "Europe" but lately, I can't get this song out of my head. I don't even know most of the words but I know the main chorus. In 9 days, I will receive my last chemotherapy treatment. I have to admit, I'm not going to miss these wonderful drugs (especially the prednisone and doxyrubicin). Don't get me wrong, I have a love/hate relationship with these drugs. I know they are making me better but I really don't like the side effects.

It has been a pretty eventful week. It started with me going to work on Monday. I love going to work. I wasn't able to spend the entire day as I had to go to the IMC for labs. Our favorite CNA, named Maygan, said that she heard the story about Michelle and me and how we got together. We told our nurse Saima on Friday and she loved it so much that she is telling the rest of the nurses. I thought it was kind of nice, but we clearly spend too much time there. The good news is that my blood counts are remaining fairly consistent (which is good). My red blood count is 4.8 and my white blood count is 5.3 These numbers are within normal ranges. I'm especially happy for the WBC, as long as it is above 2.7-3.0, I stay pretty healthy and my Oncologist is happy.

Yesterday, we went to the Riverton Hospital. The doctors were testing blood, running various tests and spent several hours observing. It isn't what you might think though...they were running tests on our daughter Makenzie. She started having pain in her side again. We thought it was her appendix as she had all of the classic symptoms. The ER doc asked if we wanted to run the CT scan because they just weren't sure. We didn't want to go home without knowing what was going on. Her appendix is fine, she doesn't have a kidney stone (although I believe that she did). They are calling it Mesenteric Adinitis, which in plain English means inflamed lymph nodes. When we got home, I looked it up online and it said that it presents itself with the same symptoms as appendicitis. Poor kid...she has had a rough few days but she seems to be perking up now.

Today, was a great day. It started with us going to Nick's school. It was one of those proud parent moments. Nick was nominated and selected to be the Falcon of the quarter for the 9th grade. We've known for about a week and we managed to keep it a secret from him. He was surprised and looked somewhat embarrassed. They fed us breakfast and gave Nick a packet that included a letter from us and from each one of his teachers. It was so nice to hear all of the positive things his teachers said about him.

After the recognition program, I had to race to work to jump on a call with a reporter from the Salt Lake Tribune We recently signed a new 10 year lease and they want to write a feel good story about the company and this huge committment to the Salt Lake area. The interview went without a hitch and they will be coming in the office tomorrow to take some photos of me. I told him I was okay with that but he should know that I have a shiny head right now. I wanted him to know that I'm undergoing cancer treatment and I don't look as good as I normally would. The article is slated to print some time next week. I hope it turns out as well as I think it will.

Finally, on a more spiritual note, I was set apart as the High Priest Group Secretary on Sunday. It is the first time this year that I've attended all of my meetings. The High Priest Group Leader, who is also my good friend that recently went to Israel and prayed for me in Gethsemene, gave me the blessing. In this blessing, he got choked up and then gave me confirmation that I would be healed. It was very similar to the blessing that my Dad gave me. It was a neat confirmation and the spirit was so strong. I've been telling people that in a wierd way, I am grateful for this challenge. I found the following quote from Orson F. Whitney:

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire."

We've said it many times, everything is sweeter. I've learned a lot about myself, my family and so many of you. It has been a wonderful journey and we are in "The Final Countdown".

Rapture & Other Events This Week

Okay...I'm going to plead ignorance to this whole rapture event. Up until this week, I thought rapture was a bad "Blondie" song about a martian eating someone and then eating cars and bars. In some ways, rapture tomorrow might be nice (assuming I'm one of the 200 million that is selected). I could skip my last chemo treatment (sweet!), I wouldn't have to pay off my debts, I hear heaven is a great place, and I wouldn't be subjected to any more chick flicks (sorry sweetie). :) Obviously, I don't believe that rapture will occur tomorrow, I guess the joke will be on me if it does.

So on a more serious note, this week did have some noteworthy events. I went to work for a couple of days this week. I don't normally go the first week after chemo but we had visitors in town. My boss (the VP of Customer Service), his boss (SVP of Retail Sales and Service), the President of the company, and the Chief Executive Officer). We had a town hall with most of the employees where the CEO presented the state of the company and talked about a few things coming up in the near term. On Wednesday morning, I went to the theater to make sure everything was ready for the meeting. The CEO arrived and I went up to him and reintroduced myself (I didn't think he would recognize me without my hair). He knew it was me and was very happy to see me there. I don't think they expected me to come. The other executives arrived and they were equally excited to see me there. I have to say it again, I love working for my company. They care about people and that has been even more evident to me lately.

After the presentation, the CEO held a Q&A session for the employees. I was very impressed with the questions that were presented. I usually expect something from out of the blue but everyone was on their best behavior. At the end of the Q&A session, the CEO said "I'm really happy to see Jim here with us." That received a lot of applause and I tried to graciously thank him for the mention. All the while, I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. I had several people come up to me afterwards and say that it choked them up as well. I don't tell this story to brag nor do I think I deserved the recognition, it was just so humbling. I know many of my co-workers follow this blog and I'm thankful for all of you.

Those two days wore me out. I actually felt worse later in the week. On Thursday morning, I awoke to my daughter Makenzie complaining about pain in her side. We ended up going to the Instacare later and found out that she inherited kidney stones from me. Poor kid was in a lot of pain but I'm happy to say that she is doing better now. She has been addressing envelopes this week for her graduation announcements. I can't believe that she is going to be graduating in less than two weeks. She graduates on June 1st and my final chemo treatment is June 3rd. I'm glad that I will be feeling my best when she graduates.

Switching gears again...this week I decided that I want to write a book. I think I'm going to call it "Melvin and Me". I want to take my blog one step further and hopefully be a helpful guide for cancer patients. I want to keep it light and positive but talk about the realities of cancer and chemotherapy and how to cope with those realities. I really don't care if if does well, I hope it can just help someone. Keep me honest here, I hope you will all ask me how it is coming so I will continue and make it happen.

Well, another week gone. I will write again soon unless a martian comes and eats me and goes out eating cars. Wait...wrong rapture. Thanks everyone!

Friday the 13th

Who scheduled my chemotherapy? April Fool's Day & Friday the 13th? Oh well, they both went well. I won't spend much time on the chemo today. I slept for a few hours during the infusion and felt a little nauseaous but overall it went very smooth. There were two things that kept waking me up, the arm-cuff to take my blood pressure went off every 30 minutes. The other noise was a 95 year old man that kept waking up and every time he would ask where he was. He seemed like a cute old guy. The nurse asked his birthday and he said 1916, so she had to coach him a bit. All in all it was a good day.

My Mother in law came to our house to get Sydney off to school. My Father in law went on a campout with Nick tonight, it was supposed to be Fathers and Sons, but Nick's Dad couldn't make it for obvious reasons. I'm grateful for our parents. My parents have done so much for us and Michelle's parents have done a lot as well!

Now for the fun part of the blog. I met with my Oncologist yesterday. She said, "You probably want some news". I had to confess that Iwent online and read the transcript but that I couldn't wait to hear it from her in plain English. I knew the results were good as the tumor shrunk from the size of a soft ball to the size of a golf ball. Well...as she began interpreting the medical speak, the news got even better. The lymph nodes have improved significantly and Melvin the tumor is essentially dead. I think I already have to rename him (the tumor formerly known as Melvin). She was so happy for us. She told us a number of times that she was tickled for us. One more chemo and then we will do a PET Scan (a Positron Emission Tomography). The test involves injecting a small radioactive chemical into my vein. The chemical is then absorbed by the organs and tissues and they are able to essentially see "hot spots". It takes about 30 minutes to be scanned but it is so detailed. They can view the insides of my body in small slices to get a better picture of what is going on.

Now if I may take a moment...I don't usually do this but I should! Dr. Legant is probably my favorite doctor ever. She has a sense of humor (I'll get to that in a minute). She doesn't try to sugarcoat everything. She gives you all of the possible outcomes and then tells you that we are shooting for the best scenario. I've heard some people don't like her because she is direct but I like that. She isn't going to tell me what I want to hear. If any of you ever come across someone that has cancer, feel free to refer them to her. She is so well liked and recognized in the industry and we love her. She is helping me get better.

Now I'll probably get into trouble for this but the last time that I met with her, I was talking to her and I told her that I needed more Lorazapam (the drug that helps with nausea and also gives me a little amnesia when it comes to Chemotherapy). She thought that she had just refilled it and I explained that she actually refilled the Zofran for me. She shrugged her shoulders and told me "Ehh, what ever you want. I always thought I would be a good drug mama." Now just to be clear, she was joking with me as she knows me well and knows that I wouldn't abuse any drugs. She then went on to say that her other career of choice would be a fan dancer. She said she would use opaque fans so she could peek through every once in a while. She is hilarious. I think we are going to try to find her some fans for my next visit.

Not feeling too sick yet. Just waiting for it to hit. Only one more treatment! I can't wait. Some good neighbors brought us dinner tonight. Homemade baked zitti. Wow!!! It was so good. Thanks Thackers! I hope all of you are doing well! I'm so grateful for good doctors and modern medicine.

Mother's Day and the CT Scan

Sunday was Mother's Day and it was a good one. I was able to visit with my Mom and Michelle's Mom. They are great women and I'm grateful to them. I'm also grateful for my sweet wife. I always knew that she would be a great Mom and I was right. I think she had a great day as well. I ended up buying her an ipad2. She loves it and so do the kids...they may have played with it more than Michelle. For all of the wonderful Mothers out there, I hope you had a wonderful day.

I had a CT scan yesterday. We arrived at the IMC (Intermountain Medical Center) and waited to be checked in. They gave us a pager, it was similar to the ones that you get at restaurants. When it buzzed, we went to the registrars desk and she confirmed my information and then told us to "have a seat". We waited and we noticed that everyone was getting called back before us. I then remembered that the last time I had a scan, I had to drink a bunch of crystal light mixed with iodine (it is terrible). I went back to the registrar and asked her about it and she forgot to give it to me. So I spent the next hour drinking this stuff every 20 minutes. The good news was that I had the ipad to play with while I waited (Michelle went down to the cafeteria).

They finally called me back and I had to change into a gown and pajama pants. They were very warm as they just came out of the dryer. I waited a few more minutes and they called me back. They were excited to know that I had a PICC line. I think they hate poking people almost as much as we hate being poked. They connected to the PICC line, took a picture and then added the contrast and took more pictures.

After they were done, I asked the tech if they could see the pictures. He said "yes, but couldn't let me see them". They had to be sent to the radiology department. I think the real reason he couldn't show me was because there were 4 or 5 people waiting for a CT scan and they needed to move quickly. I was okay with that though, because I knew I would be able to log into IHC's "My Health" and see the reading once radiology finished with it.

I watched all night long to see if they added the scan results. They didn't post them. I woke up this morning and kept checking all morning long. Finally, at 12:30 pm, they posted the scan results. I'm happy to say that the results appear to be good news. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV but even with my limited knowledge in this field, it appears to be good news. The following is a verbatim from the reading:

1. The large splenic lesion is significantly decreased in sizenow measures 4.1 cm in maximal diameter. It had measured 10.5 cmon the prior exam.
2. There is significant improvement in the mesenteric andretroperitoneal adenopathy with mild infiltration in the regionof the adenopathy seen on that prior exam.

Many of you are probably wondering what that means. The tumor in my spleen (which I'm now calling Melvin) has shrunk from approximately 4 inches down to 1 1/2 inches. I don't quite understand the second bullet but I like the first four words..."There is significant improvement". So Melvin is shrinking and I think the lymph nodes are doing really well also. What can I say? How about "Woohoo!!!!"? I've always known that the chemo was working but I'm so glad to see it in writing. I can't wait to speak to my Oncologyst on Thursday. I'm even a little excited for Chemotherapy this Friday. I know that it is doing the job that it is supposed to do and it is more than likely my second to last treatment.

We have been blessed! Thanks for your support everyone!!! You've made it easy to stay positive and handle this challenge/Melvin so well.

Adversity and How We Handle It

Have you ever thought about your experiences in life and how they help you cope with advesity? I have thought a lot about that lately. People often tell me how surprised they are that I remain so positive. I often say that I have my bad days but I choose to make most days the best that I can. I'm going to reveal some things about myself, I think most of you know that I'm an open book but some of these experiences could be embarrassing (I'm smiling as I write).

Let me begin with my early childhood. I was a chubby little toehead. I was always one of the smallest kids in my school classes but I was happy. One day my parents caught me hugging myself. I was raised to have self esteem and I told my parents that I was so happy and that I loved being me (or something like that). I was always well liked...I only had one altercation in my entire childhood and one of my best friends stepped in and fought for me. He and the other guy got suspended and I walked free. :)

I was elected as the 5th grade Vice President. My first experience in leadership. I remember going up against a very popular kid in our grade. I didn't care...I knew I was going to win. I've always had a positive attitude and I've always felt like I would win in everything.

In high school, I tried out for Madrigals as a sophomore. Sophomores didn't make it usually but my friend Troy and I both made it. I had a lot of fun in high school. I did have a failure though. I tried out for the freshman basketball team and didn't make it (did I mention I was short?). I wasn't too disappointed though, I was a star on my ward basketball team (grin).

During the summers I worked for the Salt Lake County Water Conservancy District on the grounds crew. I was chosen to be a foreman of the crew. At age 17, I was supervising several individuals, including a gentleman more than twice my age. I remember feeling so awkward about directing him. I learned some great lessons that summer.

Another wonderful experience for me was my LDS mission to Bangkok, Thailand. I spent 8 weeks in Provo, Utah learning the Thai language. When I landed in Bangkok, I thought they had taught me the wrong language. I was assigned to an area in Bangkok called Thonburi. It was a dirty, smelly place that flooded every night when the tide came in. I wanted to go home. I remained and spent the next two years developing wonderful relationships and teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I've previously mentioned my relationship with my beautiful wife, Michelle. When we were engaged, she was still sealed to her ex-husband. We decided that we would get married for time and get sealed a year later. She ended up getting a sealing cancellation more quickly than everyone expected and we were able to married in the temple for time and all eternity. Another wonderful blessing for this guy.

In my twenties, I had my dream job and lost it. My world came crashing down. I didn't realize it at the time but that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I might still be there and I wouldn't have had the opportunities that I've had with my current company.

Some of my most valuable lessons have come from being a husband and father. Talk about adversity. The heartaches and blessings that come from being a dad.

Today, I am grateful for all of these things. They have molded me into the person that I am. I make no apologies for who I am. I'm grateful to wonderful parents that helped me become the person that I am today. You know from my last post that I'm grateful for my sweetheart. I'm grateful to my children. Finally, I'm grateful for so many wonderful friends throughout my entire life. Without all of these people, I wouldn't be able to handle the trials that have been placed in my way. If you are reading this...you are one of those people!!!