My MVPs

At the risk of offending someone for leaving them off of my list. I wanted to simply take a minute to recognize so many people that supported me and my family during treatments.

Michelle Carbine - How could I not start the list with this girl? She is my rock! I'll never repay her for what she has done.

My kids - Alex, Makenzie, Nick, and Sydney. They were troopers and continue to be a big support.

Our Parents - (Jim and Helen Carbine/Joe and Carol Marks) For the daily phone calls, driving to the appointments, clothing (especially the t-shirts when I was having night sweats), the visits, dinners and so on...(too much to list each thing that they did for us).

My siblings and their spouses - Charlene and Don, Mary and Aaron, Mike and Candice, Steve and Amy, and Bobby and Amelia. Phone calls, visits, helping with our kids, electical work, and much more.

Michelle's siblings - Jennifer Anderson, Joey and Rhonda, Steph and Scott.

Seth and Julie Johnson - Seth is my cousin that had Hodgkins Lymphoma 10 years ago. He was a huge support and was able to help me so much.

Dr. Legant and her staff - Truly one of the finest medical experiences that I've ever encountered.

IMC Huntsman Cancer Center Staff - Megan, Joann, Saima, Leslie, Phyllis, and everyone else. Thanks for making chemo bareable.

All of our Aunts, Uncles, and cousins - So much love and support. I recieved a blanket (Aunt Susan), special emails (Machele, Kate, Debbie, Cindy, Brad, Doug, Kathy, Larrie, Laurel, Holly, Heather, Kris, Wendy, Jamie, Julie, Katie and Josh)

Terry Hutchings-Baker (aka Aunt Terry) - My chemo buddy. We were going through chemo at the same time. She was a few weeks ahead of me and was a great support. I'm glad you are doing better.

Stew and Susie Olsen - Long distance cousins and more importantly friends. Stew has fought a similar battle and is an inspiration to me. He too has been a huge support and allowed me to ask many questions.

Childhood friends - You all know who you are. I appreciate the support.

E*TRADE Employees - You made this so much better for me. What a great place to work!

Facebook family - I felt strange about posting at first, but it made all the difference in the world. You are all the best!

Ward members (past and present) - So much service. Lots of meals brought to us. We love you all so much and apreciate what you did for us. I have to specifically call out the Owens family. They brought dinner every Tuesday whether we needed it or not. Sad that they moved but so grateful for their friendship.

I'm sure there are many other people that I'm forgetting, believe me, you are all included. The point of this post is that you are all my MVPs!!!

What a great family

By the title of this post, you probably assume I'm speaking about my family. While they are so special, I'm speaking about another great family. It starts with this great man named Jon. He came from a fairly modest background, growing up in Blackfoot, Idaho to a School Teacher. I won't chronicle his entire career but he became a very successful business man and he and his wife Karen established the Huntsman Cancer Institute in 1995.

I attended a dinner, silent auction, and survivor's dance last night at the Grand America in Salt Lake City. It was such a neat event. I knew that they did a lot of good work but I wasn't aware of the influence they had on cancer research as a whole. I've often heard that one of the problems with cancer research is that the companies don't want to see a cure because they make so much money from the chemo drugs. I know that is not the case with the Huntsman Cancer Institute. We heard from Karen Huntsman at the event last night. I was so impressed. She talked about our Heavenly Father and what he wants for his children. We were introduced to a young survivor that had to have her leg amputated. She was so full of life and was very happy.

After the dinner, there was a survivor's dance. They gave all of the survivors a nice pin. Michelle and I were able to dance together to an Elvis classic. I'm so glad I have her! We attended the event with several people from E*TRADE. I also brought my parents and Seth and Julie. At one point, they asked who was a survivor of cancer. I was so impressed that there were so many people there that were survivors. I have to thank my E*TRADE team as well. I was told that they cheered when we raised our hands.

I loved what Karen Huntsman said at one point in the night. She said (and I'm paraphrasing) that those individuals that have survived cancer have changed for the good and the world is a better place because of them. It reminded me of a quote that I recently read. It says, "I won't let cancer define me but I will allow it to refine me". What a great quote. When I think of refining, I think of gold and purity. That little girl was pure gold. I hope I can become like that and never forget what I've gone through.

For now, I am just so grateful to the Huntsmans and the wonderful advancements in cancer treatment that they have supported. I also know of many other philanthropic efforts of the Huntsmans and I hope that we can all be like them. We may not have the resources that they do, but we can all do our part.

I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS

I love days like today that really put things into perspective for me. I mentioned in my last post that I was going to be attending an event today for HopeKids. What a great organization! We arrived a little late to Thanksgiving Point. E*TRADE and eBay hosted an event in the Museum of Ancient History. We had lunch provided by Chik-Fil-A and they also had a Star Wars garrison present for pictures. There were approximately 400 people that attended the event. The kids had a blast. As I spoke with some of the families, I was so touched by their strong spirits and will.

HopeKids puts on periodic events for children with cancer and other life threatening illnesses. One of the Dads came up to me and some of our volunteers to thank us for the event. His 1 1/2 year old son recently finished treatment for Leukemia. Another family was there with their son that had a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy. Unless something changes soon, he will not live much longer. I knew his Mom from a previous employer. I told her how brave I thought she was and that her son was doing so well. She confided in me that it hasn't always been that way. She knows she is going to lose her son at a very young age. My heart broke!

I stopped to visit another family whose son was obviously going through chemotherapy. I can't tell you what kind of cancer he is battling but his Mom mentioned that one of the drugs was doxyrubicin (the red devil). I told the boy that I just finished chemo and that I had the same drug. He suddenly became interested in what I had to say. We had something in common. I told him that he must be a tough kid because he was handling the chemo so well. He is 12 and I can tell that he is a fighter.

Michelle became enamored with a cute little girl that must be in remission. Her Mom had dressed her up cute and she had short curly hair. Attached is a picture of her.

This was the highlight for the kids. They got to play in the water and sand and find different things. It was fun to see the smiles on their faces as they got to be kids and forget about these "challenges" that face them.

I'm so glad that my friend Rebecca called me to be part of this event. I told the Executive Director that I want to partner with them again. We can't do enough to help these wonderful families. My whole E*TRADE team kept telling me how great this event was and how grateful they were that they had the opportunity to participate. If any of you are interested in this great organization and what they do, please visit their website www.hopekids.org for more info.

It is so easy to get caught up in our own problems and sometimes even feel sorry for ourselves. I don't feel that way today. My heart goes out to all of those families that were at Thanksgiving Point today and any other families that are going through similar challenges. I really don't have any problems! I've attached a few other pictures of the kids and some of the volunteers (including some bad pictures of me). :)

There's an App for that!

I was reading my favorite lymphoma support group website and I saw a discussion regarding cancer apps. I never realized that there were so many apps for the iPhone, iPad, iTouch, etc... It reminded me of my experience the other day. I was trying to sync my iPhone to our computer so I could get some of my music. I suddenly realized that I was getting a bunch of "Apps" that my family has bought or downloaded. After everything loaded, I decided to go through them all and delete anything that I didn't want. I was slowly working my way through Nick's video games and Michelle's books and gospel references when I found it. The mysterious "App". It looked like a girls "App" as it had some sort of flower on it. It was a daisy...I think. I was curious so I decided to click on it to see if I had any use for it. I definitely had no use for this thing. It wanted me to put in the start date of my last cycle (or something along those lines). The name should have given it away, but I'm not always that perceptive. This mysterious "App" was called the P-Tracker. Uggh!!! I deleted it immediately.

I asked Michelle about it and it wasn't her "App". Then I realized it was my daughter's. I asked her about it at a family dinner. I don't think she was too happy with me. I'm pretty sure she won't be happy with me posting this right now. Ahh...the small joys in life.

I'll change the subject now, so I don't get into any more trouble. I posted a picture on Facebook yesterday. It is a picture of me with hair again. It is slowly growing back and it is getting some color. There is still a lot of gray, especially on the sides but I like having hair again. Michelle tells me that I need to get it cut again, just to clean it up. The gray hairs seem to grow faster than the regular hairs and so it starts to look messy. I don't know if it will be curly or straight. My cousin had to change the side of his head that he parted his hair when his hair grew back. I can't wait to see what it looks like.

This Saturday, I will be going to Thanksgiving Point with Michelle and several people from work. My company is partnering with eBay for a local charity, HopeKids. They put on special events for families of children that are terminally ill or very sick. I'm looking forward to helping out. I'm sure it will be a neat experience but possibly a tough one as well. My friend Rebecca, from my mission, is spearheading it from eBay. She runs all of their charitable giving operations for Salt Lake City. I'm hoping that this will be the start of a good partnership with eBay. Many people confuse eBay and E*TRADE. Kind of nice that we get to work together on this good cause.

On Friday, the 19th, we will be going to a charity dinner for the Huntsman Cancer Institute. We have 16 people going from work (8 employees and their guests). I also invited my cousin Seth and his wife. I've previously mentioned Seth, he battled Hodgkins Lymphoma 10 years ago. He has been such a big support and I'm glad that they will be able to go.

I've attached a copy of the picture that I posted on Facebook. I swear the runways are a little further up my head than they used to be...oh well. I have hair!

Wind in my hair...part two

I've been thinking quite a bit about the wind in my hair. I don't know what it is but as my hair grows back, I feel like less of a cancer patient/survivor. Don't get me wrong, I still think about it but it is less obvious to others. People have been so great to me but you get to a point where you want people to treat you like everyone else.

As I've thought about the wind in my hair, I've also thought about wind in general. This is a little deep for me, but hear me out. I once heard an inspirational thought by Winston Churchill that goes something like this..."The stronger the wind, the higher the kite flies". I suppose I could have looked it up, but it is the general idea that I like. Sometimes the harder trials bring us the most growth, and dare I say it, the most joy. I've said it several times, even though this has been one of the toughest trials in my life, I don't know if I would change a thing. My only regret is that my family had to suffer and worry about me.

I also thought about a sailboat. It is possible for a sailboat to get from one side of a lake to the other when facing headwinds. The way to do that is to go back and forth diagonally, using the wind to your advantage. That is similar to my cancer experience. We continue to move forward even though we run into issues and we will get to the other side.

My friend at work told me that her Dad had a kidney stone the other day and while they were investigating the issue, they discovered some enlarged lymph nodes. She came in to work today and told me that he has Follicual Non-hodgkins Lymphoma. It was an opportunity for me to share some of this knowledge that I've unfortunately gained. I told her that I was happy to speak to her Dad, if he wants to speak about it. I hate that anyone has to learn that they have cancer. I know what it feels like. Unlike most people, I didn't have a melt down for days but it still caught up with me. I wish the best for Melissa's Dad!