Okay...if you aren't up for reading a sappy post, stop reading immediately. This round of chemo has been different than the other rounds. It started out better on day 1 and 2 but has been worse this week. I have had problems with nausea and sleeping. It has been a rough week for Michelle too. So often, the cancer patient gets all of the attention and the significant other gets ignored. Not to mention, that they are now carrying twice the responsibility.
Now to the sappy part. I am so lucky to be married to such a wonderful woman. I met Michelle Marks in my junior year. We were sitting in our seminary class and Brother Haws asked if anyone knew everyone in the class. Michelle raised her hand and when she got to me, I saw the look of horror in her eyes. She didn't know me. We became great friends and I loved tease her. In May of the following year (our senior year), Michelle and I went on our first date. I came home that night and told my Dad that she was the girl that I wanted to marry. I always admired her. She was the type of person that I wanted to be around and I was very attracted to her (hence the name of my blog). :)
Throughout the years (19 and counting), we have become even closer, which I didn't think was possible. 12 years ago, I was in a very serious automobile accident that left me with two broken arms. As you can imagine, I couldn't do anything for myself. She was so great and we grew so close to one another. 12 years later, we are now fighting this battle and once again...she is amazing. I have so many people supporting me but no one can imagine what this wonderful woman has done for me. I am so lucky! I am in such debt to her and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life paying her back. I think it will start with a much needed vacation to Hawaii next year.
I'm not going to apologize for gushing about my sweetheart. She is my best friend and I'm so grateful for her. I hope you all get to know her better. She is awesome!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Chemo #4 of 6, Silly Shirt Day, and the Red Devil
Just had my 4th chemo treatment today. I can't believe that I'm 2/3
of the way finished. Since I've been going in to work, the time is flying a lot faster for me. Let me tell you about the week...
Wednesday, I went to work and had blood labs in the afternoon. I had two of my favorite nurses help me (Joanne and Saima). We had a nice time with them and laughed a lot.
Thursday, I had my appointment with my Oncologist. It was also crazy shirt day at work. I recently purchased a shirt that states "I pay my Oncologist big bucks for this hair style". I included a picture but it is kind of hard to see. When I got to the Dr. Office, the nurse, Sharon, took one look and busted up laughing. They usually make me take my shirt off to check my lymph nodes, but she had me keep it on so Dr. Legant could see it. When she came in, she absolutely loved it. They took a picture so she could hang it on her wall of fame. After the apppointment, I went to work and my co-workers loved it as well. I think it was good for them to see that I have a sense of humor about this whole thing. I get the feeling that they tread really lightly when it comes to me and my cancer. A sense of humor is key to my healing process.
I had my first opportunity to give back on Thursday as well. I went to register Makenzie's new car (a 2000 VW Beetle). When they called my number, I went to the counter and the girl that helped me loved my shirt as well. She asked me where I got it and proceeded to tell me that her Dad was just diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She was worried and I was able to help her by telling her about my experience and that this is one of the most treatable cancers. She seemed genuinely appreciative of our conversation. It was one of the nicest experiences I have ever had at the DMV.
Michelle and I went to see a movie last night. It was okay. We saw "The Adjustment Bureau". Fun movie but not the greatest. We came home and she had a headache, which turned in to a migraine at 3:00 am. She wasn't able to go to chemo with me today. I called my Dad to see if he could take me. He did, so we were talking about all of the chemo drugs since he didn't have the experience before. I attached a picture of the Doxirubicin (also known as the "Red Devil"). Seems appropriate that they are infusing something called Red Devil into me. :) It is the drug that makes me lose hair and can cause mouth sores. I dislike this one the most but it is in most chemo treatments that I have seen. We finished even faster today (5 hours).
I don't feel sick yet but I'm sure that I will soon (most likely tomorrow). Despite all of the side effects, I am grateful for this modern medicine that continues to help me heal. We are going to beat this thing! I say we, because you are all a part of this experience for me. Many of you have invested time and energy in helping me and my family.
I can't believe that we are over the hump. We have 6 weeks until my final chemo treatment. I know it will be here before I know it. Dr. Legant ordered a CT Scan for May 9th. From what I've read, the tumor should be mostly gone by now. I can't wait to see it on the screen. I know it is working but it will be great to confirm. Thanks again for all of the support!
of the way finished. Since I've been going in to work, the time is flying a lot faster for me. Let me tell you about the week...
Wednesday, I went to work and had blood labs in the afternoon. I had two of my favorite nurses help me (Joanne and Saima). We had a nice time with them and laughed a lot.
Thursday, I had my appointment with my Oncologist. It was also crazy shirt day at work. I recently purchased a shirt that states "I pay my Oncologist big bucks for this hair style". I included a picture but it is kind of hard to see. When I got to the Dr. Office, the nurse, Sharon, took one look and busted up laughing. They usually make me take my shirt off to check my lymph nodes, but she had me keep it on so Dr. Legant could see it. When she came in, she absolutely loved it. They took a picture so she could hang it on her wall of fame. After the apppointment, I went to work and my co-workers loved it as well. I think it was good for them to see that I have a sense of humor about this whole thing. I get the feeling that they tread really lightly when it comes to me and my cancer. A sense of humor is key to my healing process.
I had my first opportunity to give back on Thursday as well. I went to register Makenzie's new car (a 2000 VW Beetle). When they called my number, I went to the counter and the girl that helped me loved my shirt as well. She asked me where I got it and proceeded to tell me that her Dad was just diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She was worried and I was able to help her by telling her about my experience and that this is one of the most treatable cancers. She seemed genuinely appreciative of our conversation. It was one of the nicest experiences I have ever had at the DMV.
Michelle and I went to see a movie last night. It was okay. We saw "The Adjustment Bureau". Fun movie but not the greatest. We came home and she had a headache, which turned in to a migraine at 3:00 am. She wasn't able to go to chemo with me today. I called my Dad to see if he could take me. He did, so we were talking about all of the chemo drugs since he didn't have the experience before. I attached a picture of the Doxirubicin (also known as the "Red Devil"). Seems appropriate that they are infusing something called Red Devil into me. :) It is the drug that makes me lose hair and can cause mouth sores. I dislike this one the most but it is in most chemo treatments that I have seen. We finished even faster today (5 hours).
I don't feel sick yet but I'm sure that I will soon (most likely tomorrow). Despite all of the side effects, I am grateful for this modern medicine that continues to help me heal. We are going to beat this thing! I say we, because you are all a part of this experience for me. Many of you have invested time and energy in helping me and my family.
I can't believe that we are over the hump. We have 6 weeks until my final chemo treatment. I know it will be here before I know it. Dr. Legant ordered a CT Scan for May 9th. From what I've read, the tumor should be mostly gone by now. I can't wait to see it on the screen. I know it is working but it will be great to confirm. Thanks again for all of the support!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Every Day Is My Best Day
Don't get me wrong, this is a tough challenge, but I try to make every day the best that I can. I had a great day today. I went to work with the intention of working 4 hours. 7 hours later, I finally left and I felt great. I made the best of my time at work. I visited with some people, attended meetings, and discovered a problem that I am now addressing with my technology partners. It was a great day!
This past week, I was recuperating from chemo. Honestly, I think chemo is much better than I thought it was going to be. My assumption was that I would be sick at all times. I find that I'm sick for about 5 days and weak for a few more days beyond that time frame. I had visions of the movie "Dying Young" (yes, I know it is a chick flick). My experience has not been even close to the movie. Again, it is tough, but it is also manageable.
I think one of the reasons that I have done so well is because of the support that I have. Let me start with my MVP...Michelle. She is so amazing! She is so positive and knows when I'm struggling! Last week she could tell that the Prednisone was making me struggle, so she recommended that we go for a drive to get out of the house. It was the perfect recommendation and helped me perk up. My kids are also amazing. They make me smile and we laugh often. I don't know if it is a concious effort or not, but they can cheer me up very easily. I'm also so appreciative of our extended family. Our parents and siblings are so supportive. I talk to my Dad and/or Mom daily. My cancer buddies are very supportive too! Michelle's aunt just finished chemo, a good friend of ours is currently in remission, and my cousin Seth beat cancer 9 years ago (he has been a huge support in helping me navigate the cancer treatment waters).
The other reason I've done so well, and probably the most important, is because of all the prayers in my behalf. I would dare say that at least daily I have someone tell me that me and my family are in their prayers. Just knowing that is so humbling. All I can do right now is say "Thank you!".
This past week, I was recuperating from chemo. Honestly, I think chemo is much better than I thought it was going to be. My assumption was that I would be sick at all times. I find that I'm sick for about 5 days and weak for a few more days beyond that time frame. I had visions of the movie "Dying Young" (yes, I know it is a chick flick). My experience has not been even close to the movie. Again, it is tough, but it is also manageable.
I think one of the reasons that I have done so well is because of the support that I have. Let me start with my MVP...Michelle. She is so amazing! She is so positive and knows when I'm struggling! Last week she could tell that the Prednisone was making me struggle, so she recommended that we go for a drive to get out of the house. It was the perfect recommendation and helped me perk up. My kids are also amazing. They make me smile and we laugh often. I don't know if it is a concious effort or not, but they can cheer me up very easily. I'm also so appreciative of our extended family. Our parents and siblings are so supportive. I talk to my Dad and/or Mom daily. My cancer buddies are very supportive too! Michelle's aunt just finished chemo, a good friend of ours is currently in remission, and my cousin Seth beat cancer 9 years ago (he has been a huge support in helping me navigate the cancer treatment waters).
The other reason I've done so well, and probably the most important, is because of all the prayers in my behalf. I would dare say that at least daily I have someone tell me that me and my family are in their prayers. Just knowing that is so humbling. All I can do right now is say "Thank you!".
Friday, April 1, 2011
Chemo Week 1/2 way completed
Let me start out by saying, I finished my chemo treatment a few hours ago so I hope this post is clear. I tend to get "chemo-head", which makes it hard for me to concentrate.
I started the week by going to work. I met with our HR Manager, she is great and helped me out with some paperwork. I really appreciate the support that I've received from my company (from the President of the company down to our new hire classes). After that conversation, I spoke with my boss and told him that I'm ready to come back to work. He is much more comfortable now that I have a couple of treatments under my belt. So I went to work Monday thru Thursday. It was so great! I'm able to accomplish more at work and it affects my morale as well as the site's morale.
On Wednesday, I went in for labs. My blood counts are still "fantastic". I believe that is the word that my Oncologist used. I love having my PICC line. They plug into it and the blood starts to fill in the vials. No more poking with needles. Definitely worth the procedure to put in the PICC line.
On Thursday, I met with my Oncologist. It was my shortest visit since I started seeing her. She was so happy! Everything seems to be going better than planned. I asked her a few questions, the first was about my neuropathy. She was concerned that we are seeing this already and told me to keep an eye on it. I then asked about a scan in the middle of the treatments. She said that we are doing a scan after my next treatment. I think that will do a lot for my psyche as I will be able to see on screen that my tumor and lymph nodes are shrinking. I also asked about my hair as it seems to continue to grow. She said that I must have "hearty hair". It will most likely fall out as well but it was curious to me.
Today, Friday, I went in for my 3rd round of chemotherapy. We had to wait again to verify the anti-nausea meds. Once we got started, things moved much more quickly than the last time. Since I've had no reactions to Rituxan, my Doc allowed them to infuse it at a faster pace. It still took 3 hours and 15 minutes but that is much better than 4 or 4 1/2 hours. All in, I spent 6 hours at the hospital. We were able to get a semi private room with a window this time. I wanted the window because the weather was so great today. It was also nice because Michelle was able to use the recliner for the other patient as we didn't need to share today. I slept for about 2 hours and watched TV. It really is boring and so hard to focus on reading or doing anything else.
Tomorrow, I will go in for my Neulasta shot. This is a very painful shot that stimulates my bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It has some potential side effects but I have not suffered from any of them so far.
My parents came over tonight with a beautiful picture frame with the poem/story of "Footprints". I'm sure many of you are familiar with it but it is essentially about a person walking with the Savior and upon reflection he notices only one set of footprints during some of his hardest times. In the end he finds out that the Savior was carrying him during those times. I've always love this poem and it is more meaningful now than ever before.
Michelle has a migraine tonight. Not a fun thing to have when she is taking care of me. I'm so glad that we are so similar and stay positive for each other! I can't wait for the scan in 4 or 5 weeks to see how things are progressing inside.
Today is April Fool's day but everything you've read is true. Tomorrow is Nick's Birthday. We celebrated today since he has Drumline Competition tomorrow and will be gone for most of the day. It is also conference weekend. I usually have a hard time staying awake during conference but this will really be tough this time around as my anti-nausea meds make me sleepy. Having said that, I'm really looking forward to the messages that will be delivered. I just know that I will have a wonderful experience and that much of what will be said will be applicable to me in my current situation. I love all of you and appreciate the support that we receive. I'll never be able to repay all of the service, love and support that we have received...but I will try.
I started the week by going to work. I met with our HR Manager, she is great and helped me out with some paperwork. I really appreciate the support that I've received from my company (from the President of the company down to our new hire classes). After that conversation, I spoke with my boss and told him that I'm ready to come back to work. He is much more comfortable now that I have a couple of treatments under my belt. So I went to work Monday thru Thursday. It was so great! I'm able to accomplish more at work and it affects my morale as well as the site's morale.
On Wednesday, I went in for labs. My blood counts are still "fantastic". I believe that is the word that my Oncologist used. I love having my PICC line. They plug into it and the blood starts to fill in the vials. No more poking with needles. Definitely worth the procedure to put in the PICC line.
On Thursday, I met with my Oncologist. It was my shortest visit since I started seeing her. She was so happy! Everything seems to be going better than planned. I asked her a few questions, the first was about my neuropathy. She was concerned that we are seeing this already and told me to keep an eye on it. I then asked about a scan in the middle of the treatments. She said that we are doing a scan after my next treatment. I think that will do a lot for my psyche as I will be able to see on screen that my tumor and lymph nodes are shrinking. I also asked about my hair as it seems to continue to grow. She said that I must have "hearty hair". It will most likely fall out as well but it was curious to me.
Today, Friday, I went in for my 3rd round of chemotherapy. We had to wait again to verify the anti-nausea meds. Once we got started, things moved much more quickly than the last time. Since I've had no reactions to Rituxan, my Doc allowed them to infuse it at a faster pace. It still took 3 hours and 15 minutes but that is much better than 4 or 4 1/2 hours. All in, I spent 6 hours at the hospital. We were able to get a semi private room with a window this time. I wanted the window because the weather was so great today. It was also nice because Michelle was able to use the recliner for the other patient as we didn't need to share today. I slept for about 2 hours and watched TV. It really is boring and so hard to focus on reading or doing anything else.
Tomorrow, I will go in for my Neulasta shot. This is a very painful shot that stimulates my bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It has some potential side effects but I have not suffered from any of them so far.
My parents came over tonight with a beautiful picture frame with the poem/story of "Footprints". I'm sure many of you are familiar with it but it is essentially about a person walking with the Savior and upon reflection he notices only one set of footprints during some of his hardest times. In the end he finds out that the Savior was carrying him during those times. I've always love this poem and it is more meaningful now than ever before.
Michelle has a migraine tonight. Not a fun thing to have when she is taking care of me. I'm so glad that we are so similar and stay positive for each other! I can't wait for the scan in 4 or 5 weeks to see how things are progressing inside.
Today is April Fool's day but everything you've read is true. Tomorrow is Nick's Birthday. We celebrated today since he has Drumline Competition tomorrow and will be gone for most of the day. It is also conference weekend. I usually have a hard time staying awake during conference but this will really be tough this time around as my anti-nausea meds make me sleepy. Having said that, I'm really looking forward to the messages that will be delivered. I just know that I will have a wonderful experience and that much of what will be said will be applicable to me in my current situation. I love all of you and appreciate the support that we receive. I'll never be able to repay all of the service, love and support that we have received...but I will try.
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